Whisper. Rush. Move. Go.
I have a small problem, you see. I sometimes have a bad memory, and remember things that never took place. Like for instance, thinking I had a backpack full of soda, when it was empty. Or a $20 bill I gave to somebody, but I never gave it. It was all just a dream.
or is it?
Why is it that my dreams are so vivid? Why do I remember details so minute, yet cant remember peoples names? Why is it that I remember things that never happened? And why do I remember things from dreams I dont even remember having?! Its all too confusing
like why do I have these
episodes? Why is it that my body tries to kill itself with a sudden blood clot? What am I trying to stop myself from doing?
and why cant I find any answers?
I dimly recall one dream, not too long ago. A long, yellow dragon was slithering atop of a long-forgotten supermarket, and would occasionally try to break into the car I was in. I was in silence from fear. Somehow, he manages to squeeze his paw that now normally would not fit in, and places it upon my face. Next thing I know, I see nothing but old cartoons from the 70s. For some reason, I responded emotionally to them. Then I was awake, dazed and confused in my dark room as I tried to make sense of it. Why was the dragon testing me? What did it want from me? Why did I feel like
it got what he wanted? And how did I know that its a he? I pushed the dream aside, and got ready to help work on the garden. The hard, busy work pushed all thoughts aside as I concentrated on finishing the best way possible.
A few days after, I met a complete stranger. The funny thing was, I didnt know him, yet somehow, I remembered him as somebody
familiar. Someone friendly, someone that I knew for a while. I felt like going up to him and greeting him warmly, but I held myself back. Come on, I thought to myself, what would I say to him? Hello, I kinda know you and I dont know why? I didnt want to seem crazy, so I let the incident pass, although I did watch him leave very carefully. I remember I slept soundly that night, so soundly I almost missed work in the afternoon. I rushed to get there, and the hectic pace tired me out, so when I returned home I just changed my clothes and fell asleep. That night I dreamt.
I was in a field, overlooking long, wide plains. The wind was blowing the long yellow- green grass, making it like an earth-tied ocean. I felt at peace, happy even. I felt like flying. The absurdity never entered my head of the fruitless of trying, so I wasnt in shock when I started to gently float up. After about a foot or two, I looked down. I was flying! I was so happy at this that I thought to myself, Well, this is a good time to see how fast I can go and instantly ZOOM I was hurtling along at breakneck speeds. It was kind of what happens when you go really fast on a bike; the not-to-apparent fragileness of the bike, paired with breakneck speed. It was like that; with that sense of reckless speed when you know its too dangerous to even TRY going that fast, but not really caring. Then, I stopped. Just instantly stopped, like I was in a movie and someone hit the pause button. I wondered to myself, why am I not moving? Then everything instantly blurred away, myself included.
All I saw was black.
I was on the ground, with my face pressed into the soft green earth. Things felt
well, for lack of a better word, real ! I could feel the grass, the gentle breeze of the wind, the shade from an overhanging tree. I could see the sky, a light blue with a few gentle clouds rolling through, with birds flying by overhead. I closed my eyes, at peace with this gentle place.
But something was wrong.
Realizing this, I opened my eyes again and stood up. Everything was still the same; blue sky, gentle breeze, shade from the tree, birds overhead
wait...the birds looked
odd. I stared closer at them up in the sky. Sure, it looked normal enough. A small flock of 9 birds, all in a V-formation, flying overhead. I stared for a few seconds more, trying to figure out what was wrong when it hit me- they were too big. Simple, yet strange enough explanation; those birds were too big. This puzzled me, and as I kept looking, I realized that they had hands, too. I looked at my surroundings again, and realized something else-I had no idea how I was able to see them so well, considering how far away they were. I looked at the roots of the tree, to hopefully understand the nature of some things here, that maybe, nature had some
strange sense of purpose.
I saw I was wearing orange socks.
This thought humored me greatly. Orange socks? Me, wearing orange socks? I thought I had outgrown orange when I was a little kid. I laughed so hard, that tears began to pour out of my eyes. I wiped them away with my hand, tears still streaming down my face. I was able to control my laughter when I had yet another strange thought.
My hand was
I stared down at my hands. Sure enough they too were orange, but they were covered in hair. And the tips didnt have nails, but
I stared at my feet again. They werent feet but actually PAWS.
My rear end went up on end, and I twisted my waist to look behind myself.
I had an orange tail, out on end from fear- and a sudden thought shot through me:
IM A CAT. IM AN ANTHROPORMORPHIC CAT.