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Eye Of Airsile- Round 1 VS Nofu: An Innocent Mistake

“Um…master? Wasn’t this tournament thingy supposed’ve started already? I’m bored…” a somewhat short boy with blonde hair said. His light brown clothing marked him as warrior, but he carried no weapon, and was currently scratching his head.

The black anthropomorphic panther stopped walking ahead of the boy and turned to face him. His large ornate necklace glittered in the sunlight as well as the bracers on its ankles, tail slowly swaying from side to side. “You must learn to have patience; everything has a time and a place. And NOW is not the time to be complaining about not having to fight.”

The boy stretched. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, it’s almost a shame that we’re not off fighting monsters or anything…I thought I would WELCOME the break…” The boy felt a light tug on his pants, as if it was caught on something.

“Hmm?” He turned around and looked down. He saw a small black and white creature staring up at him with bright red eyes. From the looks of its arms, it appeared to him it was a bird of some kind. “Uhh…master? There’s a weird bird here…”

The panther walked back to where to boy was, and looked down. He saw the small bird and stared. The little bird stared back, its gaze stuck on the ornate necklace which the panther wore.

“Penguuu…” The bird reached out for it.

“It is not worth your life, little friend.” The panther said low and firmly. “If you touch it, your very being will be sucked out of your body.”

The little bird was startled, and its eyes started to tear up. “Pengu….”

The panther, realizing his mistake, sighed. “I am sorry. I did not mean to frighten you.”

“Well, I don’t think that being a big, mean cat is helping you much master.” Karlo replied matter-of-factly. The panther dug into the bag he was carrying on his back and pulled out a small biscuit. He then bent down to lower his eye level closer to that of the bird’s.

“Be still now little one.” He held the biscuit out to the bird. “I won’t harm you, really.”
The little bird stopped sobbing, took the biscuit and began to nibble into it. The panther patted the bird’s head gently. It cooed softly.

“Aww, I think he likes you.” Karlo snickered.

The panther glared back at him. “Do not judge his behavior as primitive; he’s a very clever creature, and you could learn from him.”

Karlo took a step back. “Uh, I’d rather NOT- I mean, come on master, he’s a freaky looking bird thing…”

“KARLO! Mind what you say to others!” the panther quickly chastised. The little bird, now finished with his small meal, flapped his flippers and gently flew through the air, landing on top of Karlo’s blonde hair, and laid in it. Karlo stood there, unsure of what to do.

“Umm…master? Lil help?” Karlo didn’t move, clueless to what the bird was doing.

“I think he wants you to say sorry and be your friend, so you’d better apologize to him.” The panther tapped its foot. Karlo reached up on top of his and gently patted the bird.

“Nice little birdy…I’m sorry; you’re not weird…hey, his hair is really soft!” Karlo continued to pet the little bird. The panther smiled.

“I’m glad you are learning to be more understanding; your time with me has not been wasted after all.” The panther felt a little proud, thinking of how much Karlo had changed since first taken under his tutorage. Karlo was now trying to gently push the little bird off of his head, trying to put it on the ground, but it had fallen asleep, and was keeping a tight grip in Karlo’s hair.
Vogel was waddling around the town, desperately looking for his friend. He was the same species as his friend, albeit a bit larger. “Pengu? Penguuu? Where are you? Where did you off to again?” Vogel put his flippers on sides, taking in deep breaths, tired from having to chase after him for so long. He turned a corner, and saw Pengu sleeping in a stranger’s hair (“Yet again…” Vogel thought) very contently. He saw the other creature standing next to the boy and gulped. Vogel had only had contect with that kind of creature once before, close to his size, and it had tried to eat him.

Vogel didn’t want Pengu to become his next meal.

Vogel rushed in as fast as he could to the boy. “HEY! PENGU! Get down from there!!!”
Karlo turned and saw yet another bird of similar markings, yet larger in size waddling up to them rather quickly. It appeared angry.

“HONK! HONKHONKHONKHONKHONK!!!” the larger bird said.

“Gah! There’s two of them!” Karlo exclaimed before falling over on his butt.

The panther sighed. “Although you still have the grace of rogue bull elephants trying to tap dance…” he muttered to himelf. He saw the large bird still honking, apparently worried about the smaller one. “Do not worry, master penguin. I do not eat meat unless I’m very close to death from starvation.”

The larger penguin looked at the panther with a puzzled expression. “Ah…I promise I will not eat you or your little friend,” the panther said in simpler terms.
“But he won’t let him go!” Vogel said, before starting to peck at the boy, trying to make Pengu fall out of the boy’s hair. The boy got up and started to run.

“Hey! Oww! I would drop him if I could!” Vogel started to chase after him, and the panther chuckled at the slightly comical scene.

“Give back Pengu!” Vogel said, trying to peck the boy’s feet again.
“Master, help! This crazy bird won’t leave me alone!” Karlo said, trying to avoid the larger bird’s attacks. The panther was barely able to keep his laughter in, seeing how desperately Karlo was trying not to getting pecked.

“Hold on, I’ll try to calm him down or get the ‘pengu’ off of your head, whichever comes first…” the panther said, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye.

“Well, hurry! I’m getting tired!”

The panther sighed. “Well, calming the other one won’t work…” He closed his eyes, and a few moments later, started to glowing in a blue-ish color.

Karlo started to rise off the floor. “Ahh…” he looked down and saw himself floating off the ground, slowly rising. “Ahh, help? Help please!” he said, confused. He saw the larger penguin floating up as well. “Oh!” Karlo understood then; his master was using his aura to levitate the two of them.

The larger bird, confused to what was going on, tried to flap his arms, to try and figure out why he was ‘flying’ again, but only succeeded in turning himself upside down.

“Please do not struggle…” the panther said, eyes still closed with a strained look on his face. Pengu gently floated off of Karlo’s head and softly placed on the ground. The turned the larger penguin right side up before placing him gently on the ground as well before letting Karlo fall to the ground. The panther opened his eyes, and fell on one knee while taking sharp, small breaths, his blue glow fading away.

“Owww…” Karlo said getting up, rubbing his nose. He saw his master’s state and rushed over to him. “Master!” His master raised on paw quickly.

“Leave me, I’ll be ok…” The panther slowly stood up, still breathing heavily. The Pengu had woken up, and was hopping up and down.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed your little nap…” Karlo said, a bit disgruntled. The larger bird was looking at the panther strangely.

“I assure you,” the panther said, breath returning to normal, “I’m only dangerous to those who wish to cause harm to me or my students.”

“Pengu! Pengu pengu.” Pengu said, rubbing his belly happily. The larger penguin kept looking between the small happy penguin and the large anthropomorphic panther.

Karlo leaned over and whispered to his master, “I don’t think the big one likes us very much…”

“He is just distrustful of me, rather than you.” He replied solemnly.

“But you haven’t done anything to him!”

“But, a species closely related probably did…”

The larger penguin was honking to the Pengu, and the panther was able to catch what the larger one was saying. “Hey! We should be trying to gather supplies!” the larger one said, slightly reprimanding the younger.

His straight face cracked slightly. Word of the Eye has traveled quicker than I thought…this is very bad…I need to destroy that evil eye before anyone tries to miss-use its powers… He coughed loudly to get the large bird’s attention. “Are you traveling far?”

The larger bird turned, and stared at the panther before replying. “We’ve going to Greenland.”

“Interesting destination,” he replied. “I’m new to this planet, and may have to visit there one day. I am Nofu, and my young student whom the small one has taken a liking to is Karlo.” He walked over slowly and gently patted Pengu’s head, smiling while being careful to not reveal his sharp teeth, lest he scare them again. “I know this little friend’s name by his obvious speech pattern; what is yours?”

“Oh, I’m…” The bird hesitated, and rolled his eyes. “Vogel. Long story. We’re both penguins.” He paused and looked Nofu over again. “…Are you SURE you’re not hungry or anything?”

“No, we are not hungry.” Nofu politely replied.

“Uhh, I’m still a little hungry actually…” Karlo said. Grumpily, Nofu reached into his bag and tossed a small biscuit to Karlo. Pengu began to reach out to Nofu.

“Pengu pengu pengu!” Pengu said, making a grabbing motion with his flippers.

Nofu took notice, and got out a few more. He bent down to Pengu’s level and gave it to him, who promptly began munching on it. Nofu offered one to Pengu.

“Well, if Pengu likes it…” Vogel took the biscuit and pecked at it, eating it slowly.

Nofu smiled again, again being careful not to smile too much and show his teeth. “See? I won’t hurt those who are innocent.” Pengu kept on happily eating his while Karlo grumbled something about having to eat the same thing over and over.

“Well,” Karlo said after a few bites, “this place isn’t so bad…I think it’s a bit boring, you know…” He glanced around. “I’m used to big monsters, and poisonous snapalogians trying to attack us…”

Nofu stood up and chuckled. “Give it some time; things usually have a way of finding us.” He turned his attention back to the two penguins. “What are birds like you doing here during a fighting tournament?”

Vogel was taken aback. “Wait…what?”

“Master, what is he saying? I can’t understand a word he’s saying.” Karlo replied, frustrated by his limited language skills.

Nofu ignored him for the moment and kept talking to Karlo. “Little creatures like you have no business here. You should probably leave before someone finds you and thinks they have to fight you.”

With a look of terror on his face (while grabbing his pearl necklace), he turned and ran.

“Hey, didn’t that one guy say that the only people here are contestants? But…that doesn’t mean that penguin is actually a contestant…is it?” Karlo stared after the fleeing penguin, and the Pengu who was happily dancing around singing some non-sensical song to himself.

Nofu sighed. “I guess the large one is after all…” He took off his sword and passed it to Karlo. “Hold this.” He began chasing after Vogel.

“AHHHH!!!” Vogel was running with his flippers over his head, waddling like crazy. He lept into the canal, and floated in the water. “Ha! Cats don’t swim!”

Nofu, without breaking his stride, dived into the water expertly after Vogel. Vogel was stunned, about a cat liking the water. Not wasting any time, he swam away from Nofu, but was quickly thrown upwards as a large wave formed under him and propelled him out of the water and back onto the road. Nofu calmly climed out after him.

“Eep!” Vogel took off again, running back to where he had left Pengu, wanting to pick him up and carry him off away from danger. Pengu was pulling on Karlo’s pant leg.

“Huh?” Karlo looked down.

“Pengu?” Pengu held out a deck of cards. Karlo merely scratched his head.

“He wants to play you Go Fish.” Vogel explained, forgetting that Karlo couldn’t understand him. Nofu calmly walked back.

“It’s the game where you draw 7 cards, then ask the opponent for a certain type of card. The object is to make 4 of the same kind together.” Nofu explained, trying to shake himself dry. Vogel eyed him carefully.

“Oh! Ok.” Karlo sat down, and Pengu dealt out the cards to each of them.

“Pengu!” Pengu smiled, happy to have found someone to play with. Pengu held up an eight of clubs; non-verbally asking Karlo for any eights. Karlo sighed and handed one over to him.

“Got any jacks?” Karlo asked. Pengu handed him over one jack. “Hey, I think I understand this game now…”

Nofu gave a small chuckle while watching the two play. “Understanding and winning are two different things.”

Vogel was still feeling uneasy, and so in an effort to stop Nofu from doing anything to him, leapt for and pecked Nofu’s exposed ankles.

“OWW!” Nofu tried to say but instead roared out loud, shaking the ground a little. Both Pengu and Karlo was oblivious to it; Karlo since he was desperately trying to win, Pengu because he was so happy playing cards was ignoring everything else.

“Got any kings?” Karlo asked, staring intently over his cards.

“Pengu!” Pengu happily shook his head.

Karlo sighed. “Darn, I thought you had one…” He drew a card from the deck. Nofu, meanwhile, was hobbling back in pain from Vogel’s pecks.

“Will you stop fighting me now?” Vogel asked, prepared to start pecking again.

“I did no such thing!” Nofu replied, rubbing his tender ankles. “I haven’t been fighting you seriously yet! If I wanted to hurt you, I would, but I don’t!” Karlo passed another card to Pengu.

“Wow, you’re really good at this game, Pengu!” Karlo scratched his head, confounded how a small animal could be winning a card game. Pengu drew a card from the deck, then layed all his cards down together into sets of four; four fours, four jacks, four aces, four queens and four nines.

“Pengu!” Pengu smiled happily from winning the game, hopping up and down again. Karlo sat there, with his mouth agape.

“WHAAAT??? How?!?!” Karlo pointed at Pengu. “How are you beating me?!?”

Nofu stood up straight. “Like I said earlier, he is a clever bird; you need to use better strategy.” He looked over at Vogel with a scowl. “Think very carefully about what you do next, penguin, as you may him my humor may disappear.”

“You said we HAD to fight!” Vogel honked back.

“Indeed, fighting is the aim of the contest, but there are other ways to compete, in a sense…” Nofu said. “So,” he looked down at Vogel while smiling widely, revealing his teeth. “would you be so kind as to give up nicely instead?”

Vogel stared at Nofu’s large teeth. “AHHHHHH!!!” Vogel took off running. Nofu merely stood there, watching the penguin flee.

Vogel had gotton some distance away before stopping and taking a few deep breaths. With that, he suddenly remembered that he felt Pengu behind, and stealthily made his way back. He stuck to the shadows, and watched as Nofu stared at Pengu’s and Karlo’s card game. Vogel carefully and as quietly as he could climbed up on a few boxes, and then leapt at Nofu.

“RAAAAA!!” Vogel landed on the side of Nofu’s head, and Vogel tried pushing and pulling to make Nofu unsteady and fall over. However, it didn’t affect Nofu at all.

“You…do realize I heard you coming, correct? And that your chosen method of defeating me is obviously not effective.” Nofu merely stood there, easily pulling Voegl of from his head. He punched the bird, sending him flying a few feet away. Vogel got up quickly, and began to flipper slap him, but Nofu easily sidestepped the bird’s attacks.

Karlo and Pengu still were completely engrossed in their game.

“Got any kings?” Karlo asked, and Pengu handed him over one, and Karlo placed down his set of kings. “Okay, your turn. Hey, I think I’m winning this game!”

“…Pengu?” The small bird held up a seven. Karlo shook his head, and Pengu drew another card. In the meanwhile, Nofu was easily winning his fight, although Nofu was clearly putting in no effort at all; he easily dodged Vogel’s attacks, and only delivered gentle punches and slaps to the bird, and still had kept his sword sheathed. One slap sent Vogel tumbling across the ground, scattering Karlo and Pengu’s card game.

“…It would appear that I have made Vogel disrupt your card game you were playing. I am sorry.” Nofu apologized to the small bird, lest it started crying.

Karlo saw that Pengu was going to cry, and quickly gathered up the cards. “It’s okay, how about we play Snap instead?” he said, cards in hand. Pengu raised a single, oblivious to what snapping was due to his lack of fingers. “Oh, you don’t have fingers, sorry…Well, how about Slap instead? We each take turns pulling a card from the top and turning it over. Whenever we see a Jack, we slap the pile! And whoever slaps first, gets to keep the stack!”

Pengu honked happily, and began to play eagerly, flipper raised and ready to slap down. Vogel picked himself up and waddled over to Nofu.

“How come you’re so good at fighting?” Vogel asked.

Nofu smiled, this time keeping his teeth unbarred. “You see, little bird, I have spent many years in training both my body and spirit; I am in fact in charge of instruction for Karlo, which is a hard task in and of itself. You see, he is quite free spirited, and not too focused in many ways…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, watching after Pengu is pretty hard; he’s always running off on me, even when he shouldn’t. It’s a little frustrating but…I really like him…” Vogel reflected.

“So then, if you care so much for him, they why did you bring him to such a place?”

“Well,” Vogel scratched his head, a bit emberassed. “I didn’t exactly BRING him here, he sorta…joined by himself. And we didn’t come here; we just got a bit lost. We just floated off course, I guess.”

“Oh?” Nofu’s eyebrows and ears raised slightly.

“It’s a long story-“

“Pengu!” Vogel and Nofu turned to see Pengu standing next to Vogel holding a clear stone rock on a leather necklace, much similar in design to the one that Vogel was wearing.

“Umm…where did you get that?” Vogel asked.

“Pengu pengu.” Pengu pointed to Karlo and smiled. Nofu had a sudden thought.

“Wait a moment…you did not know this was a fighting tournament when you joined, correct?” Nofu asked. Vogel nodded.

“Did you both write your names down?” He asked the two birds.

“PENGU!” Pengu exclaimed happily, smiling. Nofu stomped over to Karlo and tugged on his ear.

“Why did you give that to him!” Nofu asked.

“Oww, oww, Master, that hurts!” Karlo said, slightly in pain from Nofu’s strong grip. “I just wanted to make him happy, so I let that little Pengu have it!”

“Did you not full read the rules as I instructed you???”

“Well…yeah…sorta…kinda…skimmed over it?”

Nofu tightened his grip on Karlo’s ear, and Vogel calmly pulled out the scroll he was given from Skieerhet. Sure enough, it was a list of rules for a fighting tournament. Vogel sighed.

“Why didn’t I read this sooner…” he sighed. He skimmed down to the bottom of the page. His eyes rested upon one rule: “You must keep this gemstone safe and in your possession at all times. The only time the necklace is to leave your possession is when you give it, or forfeit it to another player. In order for the victor to win the fight, it/he/she must take the necklace without resistance from the opposing player.”

Vogel looked up in alarm, finally realizing what Nofu was talking about, while Pengu was happily dancing with his new shiny necklace.

“Umm…Pengu?” Pengu stoped dancing and looked back at Vogel.

Skieerhet was casually leaning on his windowsill when he saw a most peculiar event happening below him. 4 objects were running by, each yelling something as they passed:


Skieerhet sighed to himself. “That’s what happens when you don’t read…”
Here it is; my first round entry for Eye of Airsile. Hope you like it! ^_^

Note: I will edit/fix this tomorrow. Right now, I'm turnign this in sos I'll be on time ^^;
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hopelessromantic721 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009   Traditional Artist
Dude that was awesome! :clap: I'm so happy you made the deadline in time! Now you are in the game still! And the whole thing was just hilarious! XD Vogel and Pengu are so cute and funny! I hope we can face each other off! ^c^
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
yeah. ^_^ Just imagaining Pengu sitting on top of Kimi's fluffy head. ^_^
Vogel and Kimi: o_o.......
hopelessromantic721 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009   Traditional Artist
Oh man...I can see that! XD Or just the tons of scenes Kimi and Pengu will have! Their endless!
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow. Hell, even if they DONT meet up in battle....they at least deserve a cameo spot. ^_^
hopelessromantic721 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009   Traditional Artist
Oh yeah definitely! :D
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
yeah! Just like;
Pengu: (while running past Kimi) PENGUPENGUPENGUPENGU *Translation: WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!*
Vogel: (also while running past Kimi) Slow down Pengu! Come back! Quit running off on me!
Kimi: 0_0.....

Hey, has he ever SEEN penguins before? If not, that would make the experience all the more weird ^^;
hopelessromantic721 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2009   Traditional Artist
LOL yeah! XD things like that! and if he has, we won't know. He'll still be surprised seeing them. XD
Man, the silent one with these two.
Pengu: *hangs onto head as they're so high up*
Vogel: *hugging his leg* Please no no no no NO!
*kimi jumps*
Pengu: Penguuuuuu! ^c^
Vogel: MOMMYYYYYYYYYY! (or whatever he'll scream)
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
oh god. ROFL'ed. XD
It'll be interesting though, trying to write the next stories where they are tricked into giving up their necklace. I did a good job with this one, and a certain SOMEONE'S *coughKarloCOUGH* inability to read...but yeah, it'll be fun. If we both make it through, I'll see you in two rounds then! (because of the way it's set up)

Oh, and FYI, and good exclimation to make Vogel say would be something like "I left Anatartica for THIS?!?- *le leap of Kimi* " XD
(1 Reply)
Faded2Indie Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
Good luck dear! I really have missed reading your works. This is of no exception. The voices are well tuned and the descriptions nicely done. All in all, it is a great read. :heart:
MysteriousBob777 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
Accidentally sent the last one before I was done, sorry ^^;

"as you may him my humor may disappear.”"
...I don't even know what you were trying to say. Sorry...

"he suddenly remembered that he felt Pengu behind"
by felt you meant left.


I LOVE how you made them win here. It was totally unexpected but makes perfect sense. Truly clever.

You need to work on the fighting scene here. Vogel is obviously afraid of Nofu, but he frequently just stops and gets calm for no apparent reason.

Also, at those moments when he realizes that he left Pengu behind, it's a bit too sudden and understated. He just sort of turns and walks back apathetically. Show us his thoughts or have him say something to himself. Get him to make a frustrated comment, or to do a facepalm (faceflipper?), just something. It's too bland right now.

Although the ideas are solid and you have the potential for some great humor here, a number of things are off. There is a big difference in quality between this and your usual writing.
Would I be wrong in assuming that you rushed this a bit? That's the sense I get.

I think if you neatened some of those things up, you'd have a great piece here.
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
okay. yes, it wasx SLIGHTLY rushed; i had a lot of ideas, and.....they all came out at once ^^;

MysteriousBob777 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
I know what you mean... but you're on the right track, definitely. You'll get it all sorted out.
MysteriousBob777 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
The obligatory error check... sorry that it's so long... you may consider hiding this comment if you don't want a judge to read it, since it contains many of your errors.

"started to glowing in a blue-ish color"
remove the "to"

"to try and figure out why he was ‘flying’ again,"
Why again? Is it just a reference I'm missing? But Vogel hasn't flown before in this piece so the presence of "again" is a bit bizarre.

"His straight face cracked slightly. Word of the Eye has traveled quicker than I thought…"
Between those two lines, it switches to the character's thoughts, so to clarify that you should put them in italics. Otherwise it is tricky to read.

"before anyone tries to miss-use its powers"
Just use "misuse." It is a word so don't worry about that, and it will improve the flow of the sentence. Hyphens can almost make the reader pause, and you can easily eliminate this one.

"With a look of terror on his face (while grabbing his pearl necklace), he turned and ran."
Two things: one, there's no indication that Vogel is the one doing all this. The action follows Nofu's dialogue, leading the reader to assume that Nofu is fleeing, which makes no sense.
Two, see if you can't remove those parentheses. Maybe restructure the sentence so that you don't need them. Right now they are killing all the subtlety of his actions, which is unfortunate. You don't need to hide this action from the audience, just make it less in-their-face when they'd probably notice it anyway...

"singing some non-sensical song"
Okay, so I guess this could be a style choice in the end, but it's more common and more widely accepted to just use "nonsensical."

"“He wants to play you Go Fish.” Vogel explained, forgetting that Karlo couldn’t understand him. Nofu calmly walked back."
Whoa, whoa, hold on! One second, Vogel is running for his life, and now he's stopped to be an interpreter, and Nofu has stopped chasing him entirely. The mention that Nofu climbed out of the canal "calmly" is not nearly enough to show that there is no hostility, and Vogel obviously didn't know it. He was about to carry Pengu to safety, right?
Something's very amiss here. It feels like a paragraph was removed.
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. I know, i know; it needs a bit of fixing. I'll fix it today (was posted yesterday) I'll answer in order.

okay, whoops. ^^;

he was "flying" because when birds fly, they flap their arms to fly, yet Vogel WASN'T flapping, yet he was flying, which confused him to how he was [flying].

Hmmm. I'll fix that. See, I'm not too good at writing from everyone's perspective; it was something new I had wanted to try out ^^; I'll stick to one character['s POV] next time ^^; Hey, least I tried something new. *shruggs*

Sure, no prob.

Here I had a hard time to explain things; Nofu doesnt want to hurt Vogel, so he's not really fighting to seriously; more like how you would fight a little kid who was trying to get somethign from you (aka light punches, pushing away instead of throwing, holding them still with one hand, etc.) Nofu really isn't too concerned with fighting, more like....whats the term...something like, "helf-caring", like casually. (Hmmm, as casually as one would grab a pretzel while watching TV. ^^; ) Yeah, i fix that paranthesis too.

sure, no hyphen. Roger.

Well, he's not running for his LIFE, just....well....comic terror? ^^; I know, it wasn't perfect...yes, it really is a 'casual' fight more than anything. Yes, he WAS going to carry Pengu to satefy, but he was too ingrossed in his game-
Did I foget to add something in there? Whoops. ^^;

Ill get this fixed soon. Thanks again. ^_^
MysteriousBob777 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
Well, it wasn't the "flying" part that confused me, just the use of the word "again." I know Pengu can fly, but I didn't think that Vogel could. And he hasn't done so yet. "Again" just doesn't fit quite right, that's all.

That explains Nofu's behavior, but Vogel still seems to be panicking - I understood Nofu's actions after a few sentences, but Vogel confuses me. I suggest you just experiment with it until it makes sense, I guess.

And sorry that I broke this into two chunks by mistake... tab is so close to shift... and I accidentally sent this comment before it was done.
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
well, I said in teh ref sheet that Vogel ONCE flew, but can't cus hes too havy now. ^^;
MysteriousBob777 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Student Writer
Oh... so I WAS just missing a reference, I suspected that that might be the case. Well, then, do leave it. My bad XD
crazymew Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009
xD!! Awesome
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
hope i win ^_^
crazymew Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009
I hope so too mate, ^^
scarlettie90 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
haha captured it perfectly :D
MindOfGenius Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
thanks. ^_^
Bethelon Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2009
really funny!
It's just a rip on the space-time continuum! What can happen?
Keltieri-Felsali Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2009   Digital Artist
hahahha :D love this!!
kubajo Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2009  Student Writer
lol, nice props =)
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